Crying in b&w and color. . . sure makes you think.

So, Doss is colicky.  I think it is official.  The little guy is just not very content for very long even after being fed and changed.  It is just the saddest sight, to see your baby screaming his head off.  Red face. Writhing body.  So sad.  It doesn't even look pretty in black and white. . .although most things do. . . you can see the poor little guy below. .. in b & w and in color.  

Why does a crying baby make you realize all the things in life you have yet to accomplish?  Why does it make you look back on the crazy twists and turns you have already maneuvered?  Doss's colic makes me contemplate the fact that I'm on like double digits in careers; that I have a design business that I always put on the backburner, thus it never quite takes off; that I always seem to be "just about" to do SOMETHING with my business.  With my life.  Although being a mom is truly amazing--even with a crying baby--and I wouldn't change it.  It does not totally define me.  I want something more to show Doss as he grows.  I want him to see me expressing myself in all sorts of ways; hopefully as my way of making a living for him and for me.  We'll see.  It is just so hard.   Right now, I just have to thank my lucky stars I still have a paying job to return to, with insurance and checks.  And I want to suck in all that I can learn while at this job. . . but one of these days. . . 

Hmmm.  Maybe colic isn't such a bad thing.

one punk posy. . . on the way?!?

So, most of you know that I love Etsy. . . I hope to put momoFandango on Etsy someday. . . someday when I have more time.  haha.  Well, the idea of more time continues to evade me. . . and the weeks keep slipping by.  I called Amy and Clay today b/c we looked up and a week had gone by without seeing Lola or Clay and Amy.  Mind you, we literally live 5 minutes from each other!  SO CLOSE--and generally we spend lots of time together, so when a whole week slips by I sort of freak out.  Especially with a birthday just passing by, and our 2nd wedding anniversary coming up tomorrow.  It seems like just yesterday we were rocking out at Perini Ranch for our wedding celebration. What a great party that was!

Anyway, time is slipping by, and these days that is, at once, a good and a scary thing. . . you may have heard on the Hola Lola blog that Ben and I are expecting our first baby!!!!!  December is my due date, and as time slips by, I'm both excited and freaked out.  We still don't know the sex of the baby, and struggle with whether we will find out or not. . . so as of right now I'm searching for items and see the coolest things for boys and girls. . . hence the groovy cards in the pictures above.  Whether we will need the princess or the lamb card remains to be seen, but I sure love everything One Punk Posy (found on Etsy) is doing.  Check out the take on Victorian children coupled with oversized, realistic insects.  How Groove-a-lish! 

So, there you go--who knows if little Miss Lola will have a boy or a girl cousin in December.  No matter the case, our baby is sure lucky to have such a cool chick as a not only and cousin but a neighbor and a friend.  They are going to be such good friends!

Now I would be remiss if I didn't mention that I'm not the only one on the Magill side of the family expecting--Matt and Megan my brother and sister-in-law in NYC are expecting a baby girl in September, and Erin, Ben's first cousin, and Steve Babcock, who also live SO close to us, and who we get to spend lots of great time with, are expecting a little boy in October (who will be big brother to little Callie Ruth, another precious little one that we love and have such a good time with).  So there is lots of fun going on in Big D, and to come for the Magill fam, too, especially with our other nephew, Charlie Magill (Wes and Karen's little boy), who lives in Oklahoma and will be the eldest of the Magill cousins.

We feel so lucky to have all the family we have and to have the precious cousins and aunts and uncles and grandparents who will all play a role in raising our child too.  We even think Lola and the baby will hopefully go to the same day care, and potentially the same school someday--wouldn't that be amazing?  They will just miss being in the same class. . . but when I grew up, my best friend was my cousin who was in one grade ahead of me.  I hope that can be the case for my baby, and Lola too.  We plan on keeping the family ties strong and important, so that there is a family loyalty and stability to draw strength from, no matter what. . . boy or girl, hard times, and good times, come what may--we love our family and hope for the same for generations to come.

music in the morning

boy, do I love a slow morning when i can just move at my own pace.  it is so rare these days. . . city life brings the unavoidable scheduling of activities, because if you neglect to fit "it" into your schedule "it" won't happen.  seeing your friends, visiting your family and your beautiful new niece, walking your precious dog,  trying recipes, organizing your closet, writing down your deepest thoughts, moving through the morning hours in yoga pants, with music in the background, sipping a cup of coffee--if you don't slow down and clear your calendar for these things, I'm realizing you wake up and the days have slipped by in a blur without favorite things filling them.  or worse, the favorite things have occurred, but the memory of them is fuzzy or just not there.  scary.  

this blog is my attempt to not only fit time in for my favorite things, but really contemplate them by writing them or showing them here.  maybe it will allow for breathing and feeling life more than I have been recently.  don't misunderstand; I have a fantastic life with my incomparable husband, Ben; my scruffy, loyal dog, Guthrie; the most wonderful dynamic friends in the world that include family and a new niece and new muse, Lola Ruth;  a fledgling business called momoFandango, that will no doubt be the subject of this blog quite often.  I'm lucky, I just want to take the time to remember that I am. . .