how do you know?

I had Doss at the work daycare one day last week.  Coco was gone and I could not miss work because we were shooting our Fall lookbook and Friday was my Men's shoot.   Anyway, luckily the daycare has a great back-up care option for JCP home office associates, so I was able to take Doss with me and drop him off there.  

It was a little hard on him that morning, or so I heard.  I figured he would be a bit out of sorts, with a brand new environment and new people and all.  The ladies were so nice and kept telling me that he was doing good when I would call to check in.  Finally, though, I went down to see him and they confessed that he had had a rough morning and was crying quite alot.  I don't blame him, it is hard to get thrust into a new environment on a random day without a bit of an adjustment period.   I could tell as at 1:30PM when I went down, his little eyes were still red.  But he had calmed down and was playing good on the floor.  And when I took him back that afternoon, he went right to the ladies and was happy as could be when I picked him up at the end of the day.

I think it is was fun to have him so close during the day, although, it is probably good he is not there everyday, because I would want to go visit him ALL the time.  When I did go down to visit last Friday, I took him over to the photo studio to meet all my friends and colleagues.  Below are the images we took together on the set.  Heather, the fabulous photog, just shot some off the cuff pics and these are just a few.   He was still in a pretty intense mood and you can totally see it here.  I love how serious he looks. . . 

off to a rough start as usual!

seriously.  love his intense face here.

what a good boy!  it was so fun!

Speaking of fun--I'm still wondering--how do you know when to take the risks to do what you want to do. . . WHEN?  HOW?  I'm so confused about this still, especially now that Doss is here.  When is it right?  How much risk should we take?  Ben is a bit confused too, although he has started to take steps towards his dream.  Not his musical dream, although his music review and upcoming music review podcast help him to keep that an integral part of his professional and creative life.  And for his "realistic" dream (meaning something he truly thinks he wants to do that will result in a job that will support us and will fulfill him) he is working towards that too.  So it is nice that he has started on this path.  But, with the beginning of yet another season, spring happy spring, I again realize I still feel a bit isolated from the world outside.

I realize I'm a very lucky person.  We have a great life.  We have a fun little house.  We don't really want for anything, except an occasional trip abroad or an amazing piece of artwork or furniture. .. which I truly think will come, we don't need anything.  We have a good life.  We are just right on the cusp.  We know and see what it is like to have a bit more freedom. . .more control over your day and your future.  And because we don't have to work to feed our family or to just pay our rent, it allows us to realize that we want and are capable of having and achieving more.

I'm feeling more and more optimistic about making this wish a reality.  I just have the questions.  How do you know? When do you know? What to do?  

So on we go.  Hanging on, and pushing ourselves. . . hoping to feel and see the seasons change through our work sometime. . . sometime soon.

Crying in b&w and color. . . sure makes you think.

So, Doss is colicky.  I think it is official.  The little guy is just not very content for very long even after being fed and changed.  It is just the saddest sight, to see your baby screaming his head off.  Red face. Writhing body.  So sad.  It doesn't even look pretty in black and white. . .although most things do. . . you can see the poor little guy below. .. in b & w and in color.  

Why does a crying baby make you realize all the things in life you have yet to accomplish?  Why does it make you look back on the crazy twists and turns you have already maneuvered?  Doss's colic makes me contemplate the fact that I'm on like double digits in careers; that I have a design business that I always put on the backburner, thus it never quite takes off; that I always seem to be "just about" to do SOMETHING with my business.  With my life.  Although being a mom is truly amazing--even with a crying baby--and I wouldn't change it.  It does not totally define me.  I want something more to show Doss as he grows.  I want him to see me expressing myself in all sorts of ways; hopefully as my way of making a living for him and for me.  We'll see.  It is just so hard.   Right now, I just have to thank my lucky stars I still have a paying job to return to, with insurance and checks.  And I want to suck in all that I can learn while at this job. . . but one of these days. . . 

Hmmm.  Maybe colic isn't such a bad thing.

one punk posy. . . on the way?!?

So, most of you know that I love Etsy. . . I hope to put momoFandango on Etsy someday. . . someday when I have more time.  haha.  Well, the idea of more time continues to evade me. . . and the weeks keep slipping by.  I called Amy and Clay today b/c we looked up and a week had gone by without seeing Lola or Clay and Amy.  Mind you, we literally live 5 minutes from each other!  SO CLOSE--and generally we spend lots of time together, so when a whole week slips by I sort of freak out.  Especially with a birthday just passing by, and our 2nd wedding anniversary coming up tomorrow.  It seems like just yesterday we were rocking out at Perini Ranch for our wedding celebration. What a great party that was!

Anyway, time is slipping by, and these days that is, at once, a good and a scary thing. . . you may have heard on the Hola Lola blog that Ben and I are expecting our first baby!!!!!  December is my due date, and as time slips by, I'm both excited and freaked out.  We still don't know the sex of the baby, and struggle with whether we will find out or not. . . so as of right now I'm searching for items and see the coolest things for boys and girls. . . hence the groovy cards in the pictures above.  Whether we will need the princess or the lamb card remains to be seen, but I sure love everything One Punk Posy (found on Etsy) is doing.  Check out the take on Victorian children coupled with oversized, realistic insects.  How Groove-a-lish! 

So, there you go--who knows if little Miss Lola will have a boy or a girl cousin in December.  No matter the case, our baby is sure lucky to have such a cool chick as a not only and cousin but a neighbor and a friend.  They are going to be such good friends!

Now I would be remiss if I didn't mention that I'm not the only one on the Magill side of the family expecting--Matt and Megan my brother and sister-in-law in NYC are expecting a baby girl in September, and Erin, Ben's first cousin, and Steve Babcock, who also live SO close to us, and who we get to spend lots of great time with, are expecting a little boy in October (who will be big brother to little Callie Ruth, another precious little one that we love and have such a good time with).  So there is lots of fun going on in Big D, and to come for the Magill fam, too, especially with our other nephew, Charlie Magill (Wes and Karen's little boy), who lives in Oklahoma and will be the eldest of the Magill cousins.

We feel so lucky to have all the family we have and to have the precious cousins and aunts and uncles and grandparents who will all play a role in raising our child too.  We even think Lola and the baby will hopefully go to the same day care, and potentially the same school someday--wouldn't that be amazing?  They will just miss being in the same class. . . but when I grew up, my best friend was my cousin who was in one grade ahead of me.  I hope that can be the case for my baby, and Lola too.  We plan on keeping the family ties strong and important, so that there is a family loyalty and stability to draw strength from, no matter what. . . boy or girl, hard times, and good times, come what may--we love our family and hope for the same for generations to come.

Etsy Find of the Week

Look at these amazing toys I found on Etsy!  They have stunning fabric combinations, the expressions that the artist has been able to achieve with these animals is precious!  And, even more important, they are unique, they leave your child time to use imagination, and they'll look fabulous in momoFandango nurseries and rooms!!

Ride the Retro

I love these cool, retro fabrics from Purl Soho--my fave new source.  They 

are designed by Denise Schmidt and the line is called "Katie

Jump Rope", priced at $9 per yard.  What great momoFandango

blankets they will make!

groovy one

I love Random Nicole.  She is an artist who translates her artwork into fashion pieces for men, women and kids.  I find her work so free and expressive.  Her groovy approach is so connected to the basis for momoFandango through her use of vintage fabrics.  Look at this precious onesie called "little doe" (retail $49)!  This and many more funky pieces can be found at www.randomnicole.com  

groovy earth

momoFandango will hopefully have its place within the the realm of eco-friendly/green design.  I feel passionately about sustainability, about finding a "second life" for things tossed aside, thus the use of vintage fabrics.  I sometimes, romantically refer to them as the lost fabrics. . . I love the idea that these fabrics bring a past with them.  Because I am so interested in building my business without doing harm (more about this soon), I find great inspiration in green, or what I deem "groovy earth" product.  These beautiful Loyal Loot Log bowls, $76, from Rose and Radish certainly fit the bill.  I love the juxtaposition of the smooth, flawless interior with the rough, knarled exterior.  Lovely! 

http://store.roseandradish.com

love that Baby Bean

one of my favorite children's lines just happens to be based right here in my hometown of Dallas.  It is called Baby Bean Wear.  Look at this precious dress from the lines' Spring/Summer 08 collection.  It is called the Jilly Button Dress and it retails for $64.  I just love the nostalgic patterns in both form and  fabric.  I find the line and the business quite inspiring (not to mention the great name that just roles off the tongue.  love that!!). . . check it out at www.babybeanwear.com

momo in progress

So my upstart design business, momoFandango, is in motion. . . it is a work in progress, a learning curve, a trial and error process.  I'm learning to sew, learning to source my vintage fabric, source supplies, researching labor, strategizing marketing. . . the whole shebang!  It is a wonderful and exciting journey. . . The heart of the approach is my love for vintage fabrics, and the idea that all things "baby" don't have to be about the usual color schemes, soft cheniles, and little bunny rabbits.  I design nurseries that are based on these unusual pairings of new and old fabrics, as well as a product line that made of these fabrics, as well. . .  design for babies can be groovy, hip, sophisticated, and still childlike. . .that is momo Fandango.  anyway, here are my  latest Vintage Revision blanket sets, and my current pool of fun fabrics.  Watch out--momo Fandango is on the cusp!!

 

Sweet Lola's nursery

So the newest completed momoFandango nursery just happens to be for my favorite niece, Lola.  She is spunky and groovalicious, and I think her nursery fits her.