So, Doss is colicky. I think it is official. The little guy is just not very content for very long even after being fed and changed. It is just the saddest sight, to see your baby screaming his head off. Red face. Writhing body. So sad. It doesn't even look pretty in black and white. . .although most things do. . . you can see the poor little guy below. .. in b & w and in color.
Why does a crying baby make you realize all the things in life you have yet to accomplish? Why does it make you look back on the crazy twists and turns you have already maneuvered? Doss's colic makes me contemplate the fact that I'm on like double digits in careers; that I have a design business that I always put on the backburner, thus it never quite takes off; that I always seem to be "just about" to do SOMETHING with my business. With my life. Although being a mom is truly amazing--even with a crying baby--and I wouldn't change it. It does not totally define me. I want something more to show Doss as he grows. I want him to see me expressing myself in all sorts of ways; hopefully as my way of making a living for him and for me. We'll see. It is just so hard. Right now, I just have to thank my lucky stars I still have a paying job to return to, with insurance and checks. And I want to suck in all that I can learn while at this job. . . but one of these days. . .
Hmmm. Maybe colic isn't such a bad thing.
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